


Being a Jedi

by wanderingjedihistorian (RangerJedi67)



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Jedi Appreciation, Jedi June, Some angst, Tags will be updated as needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24581647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RangerJedi67/pseuds/wanderingjedihistorian
Summary: Scenes, musings and drabbles for Jedi June fan eventDay 1: Obi-Wan Helps Injured TroopersDay 2: Obi-Wan contemplates his lightsaberDay 3: Padawan Anakin learns something. Knight Anakin shares it with his own Padawan.Day: 4: Ghost Company has a question about the Force. Obi-Wan does his best to answer.Day 5: Discipline isn't always about the physical.Day 6: Obi-Wan corrects a misconception his men seem to have about Jedi & emotions.Day 7: Padawan Anakin asks a question. Years later, Ghost Company asks their  General the same question. Obi-Wan does his best to answer.
Comments: 50
Kudos: 212





	1. Compassion

**Author's Note:**

> Saturday, June 6th: Compassion
> 
> Obi-Wan Helps Injured Troopers

CWCWCW

This siege had gone on far longer than they had anticipated. Supplies were low. There just weren’t enough painkillers to go around. The Marshal Commander was very proud of his men; none of them were complaining about the lack of supplies. They just had to hold on until morning when the _Negotiator_ returned from resupply. His men were strong, they could do it. But there was something the clone Commander had failed to factor in.

Cody watched as his General moved between the injured men. It had taken watching his General speak to four different troopers before he realized what he was seeing.

General Kenobi wasn’t just checking on their men. He was actively soothing them. Cody realized that each man the General touched was visibly more relaxed and less tense with pain.

Cody watched as the General went to each of the injured who hadn’t been able to receive painkillers.

The General was doing what he could to relieve some of their pain.

And he was doing it at his own expense.

Cody quickly moved to his General’s side. When the Jedi stumbled due to growing exhaustion, his Commander was there to catch him.

CWCWCW

It wasn’t just the _Negotiator_ that arrived the next morning; the _Resolute_ was there as well.

Obi-Wan tiredly moved to greet Anakin; Cody following close behind.

“You look terrible, Master,” the Jedi Knight teased.

“Yes, Anakin, lovely to see you too. I’m perfectly all right,” the Jedi Master retorted.

Not buying it, the Knight turned to the Commander.

Cody was not close to General Skywalker, but they had an understanding where General Kenobi was concerned. They told each other the truth about the other man’s physical condition.

“I think he exhausted himself. He used the Force to help a lot of injured troopers last night,” The Commander reported.

Cody hadn’t thought it was possible, but the younger General showed both exasperation and fondness while also hardening his features.

“You know you aren’t really trained for that,” The Knight said.

The Master sighed.

“We didn’t have a lot of options. I could help my men. So, I did. Our men fight so hard for us, for the Republic! The very least I could do was ease their pain!”

The younger Jedi replied, “Compassion is an important part of being a Jedi. You know I understand that. I’m…I’m not saying it was wrong. I would have done the same. It’s just that I worry that you push yourself too hard.”

“All I need is a cup of tea and a shower. I will be fine,” Obi-Wan replied gently.

“And a nap. You are taking a nap before we start strategizing for the next campaign. It’s going to take us three days to get there. You have time to get some rest,” Anakin countered.

Obi-Wan began to protest.

“I WILL set Kix on you. I’ll do it,” The younger Jedi threatened.

The older Jedi deflated at that. Torrent’s medic really was something else; even the Jedi didn’t like crossing him.

“That is entirely unnecessary!”

“It will be unnecessary if you agree to get some rest, General,” Cody said, jumping in with the hope of preventing this from devolving into an argument.

Obi-Wan was smart. He realized he was completely outnumbered.

“Very well. Once we get everyone sorted and back on board, and I make my report to the Council, I will take a shower, have a nice relaxing cup of tea and then take a nap,” Obi-Wan agreed.

Cody and Anakin both wanted to argue that priority list but knew to take what they could get when it came to Obi-Wan actually looking after himself.

Rex and Cody smiled at one another in amusement as Anakin slipped Obi-Wan’s arm over his shoulder to help him towards the gunship that would take them up to the _Negotiator_.

“Anakin, really, I am fine!” Obi-Wan protested.

“Humor me, Master,” Anakin said with a smirk.

The older Jedi gave a resigned sigh before quieting.

CWCWCWCWCW

Cody knew many of his brothers served under decent Jedi.

He found himself wondering if all of those Jedi showed as much compassion as his General did. 

He also wondered if there were those who wanted to, but felt they had to hold themselves back for fear of growing too attached to the men they had to send out to fight and die.

Cody desperately hoped that the compassion the Jedi were capable of didn’t just end up causing them more pain.


	2. Lightsaber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan considers his lightsaber and what it represents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunday, June 7th: Lightsaber  
> Basically this is a rework and slight expansion of a musing on lightsabers that I posted on Tumblr a while back.  
> Obi-Wan got angsty here, folks.

CWCWCW

Obi-Wan looked at the lightsaber in his hand. He had just finished cleaning and inspecting it after a long battle.

It was such a familiar weight in his hand. He had never expected to spend so much of his life with his lightsaber actually in his hand rather than on his belt.

Unbidden, a memory swirled to the forefront of his thoughts.

It was a memory of something Dex said to him that day they first met.

_“The sight of a lightsaber can inspire great fear, but it can also inspire great hope.” He says to Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon.  
Speaking directly to Obi-Wan he says, “With one quick sweep of a lightsaber, you gave hope to everyone who saw your blade. Except for the bad guys, that is. Your lightsaber brought them to their knees, without spilling a drop of blood…Many weapons can kill, but only the lightsaber can inspire such extremes of hope or fear.”_

A lightsaber meant something, for good or for ill.

When he was younger, all Obi-Wan wanted was to be a source of help and hope. And yet, with this war, it seemed like they had been reduced to merely a source of fear.  
A Jedi no longer seemed to mean help; they were a harbinger of hurt.  
This was not what Obi-Wan ever wanted. This was not what he wanted his lightsaber that he worked so hard to build to mean to any who saw it.

The Order of Obi-Wan’s adulthood bore little resemblance to the Order of his childhood.

The Jedi were supposed to be guardians.  
A lightsaber can attack.  
But it can also defend.  
They were meant to protect the innocent and the good from the bad.  
It can deflect shots away from those who seek shelter behind it.  
It can carve a path to safety.

They were meant to be peacekeepers.  
They weren’t meant to soldiers.  
They weren’t meant to be generals.  
They weren’t meant for war.

He clung to the hope that they could end this war. He clung to the that one day a lightsaber could be a source and symbol of hope again.

They were meant to be _hope_. And it is all Obi-Wan wanted to be again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dex quote is from the book The Life and Legend of Obi-Wan Kenobi by Ryder Windham.


	3. A Lesson Learned...and Shared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padawan Anakin learns an important lesson from his Master.  
> Knight Anakin teaches his own Padawan the same thing, with a little help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saturday, June 13th: Teaching/Learning
> 
> I needed planet names, so I went through a list and picked a few. There's really nothing more to the choices than that.

SWSWSWSW

“Jedi are meant to help people. We should be doing more of that and less of…of this!” Seventeen-year-old Anakin Skywalker snarled with a wild gesture towards the ballroom they had just exited.

Obi-Wan knew Anakin’s anger was a bit misplaced. They were just back from a difficult mission. They had seen a great deal of misfortune and suffering that they had been unable to do anything about. The Knight knew it weighed heavily on his young Padawan. To be sent to a posh Senatorial gathering less than a day after returning from that was difficult for the teen who was still struggling with the emotions caused by the mission.

“You aren’t wrong, Padawan mine. We are meant to show compassion and to help our fellow beings. However, there are times we must do what is asked of us instead of what we want. Because it is all connected. You see nothing here but politicians and decadence. You aren’t entirely wrong. But what you didn’t see, what you didn’t hear are those using this event as a platform. The Senator for Alderaan just got the Senators from two other Core Worlds to agree to assist in a relief mission to Durkteel where a second consecutive year of draught is causing widespread food shortages. The Senator for Chalacta has secured agreement from the Senator from Onderon to provide medicines for a large, unexpected flu outbreak that matches no strain for which the Chalactans had an available remedy. Many other senators and representatives were doing similar things. But they do it quietly and without drawing attention in this moment,” Obi-Wan explained.

Anakin’s eyes widened. How had his Master heard those things?

Obi-Wan smiled gently.

“It is easy to lose ourselves in how we would choose to act and to serve. But we must have the restraint to know that we don’t always know best. We don’t always have the answers; but others may. As for why _we_ must be here? The Jedi need to make appearances at events like these so that people remember that we are as dedicated to the Republic as they are. We may be, and often are, called to help worlds outside of the Republic. But we could do none of it without the Republic’s help. Sometimes that means having the discipline to quietly deal with people and events we would much prefer to have no part of. It is all part of the calling we have dedicated ourselves too,” The older Jedi explained.

“So we have to put up with the parts of the job we don’t like for the sake of the parts we do,” The Padawan summarized. 

Obi-Wan smiled.

“Exactly, my young Padawan. Exactly.”

SWSWSWSWSWSWSW

“Why do we have to do this?” Ahsoka asked.

Anakin grimaced. He couldn’t really be annoyed with Ahsoka for asking considering how often he had thrown that exact question at Obi-Wan when they were sent to gatherings like this.

“Trust me, little one, I know you don’t like this. Honestly? I don’t either. But we have a duty, so here we are,” The Knight said.

The face the Padawan made told her Master everything he needed to know about what she thought about _that_. 

Anakin was glad Obi-Wan wasn’t there yet. His old Master would tease him mercilessly for this.

“Being a Jedi isn’t all about using our lightsabers, Snips. Sometimes we have to show up to boring Senate events to show our support for the Republic.”

“We’re fighting a war for the Republic. What more could they need?” Ahsoka asked.

Anakin sighed. Really, who thought _he_ was ready for a Padawan? He didn’t have the answers for questions like that, in part because he still found himself asking the same thing.

“Sometimes, young one, appearances matter more than actions,” Came Obi-Wan’s voice.

Senator Organa had specifically requested both members of The Team attend this event. Obi-Wan was coming from a Council meeting so he had told Anakin and Ahsoka not to wait for him before heading over.

Anakin looked over at Ahsoka and said with a smirk, “What Master Obi-Wan said.”

The young Togruta rolled her eyes.

“Keep an eye on the various politicians this evening. Don’t make it obvious but listen to the conversations they are having. That will help you understand,” Obi-Wan explained.

CWCWCW

Ahsoka did what her grandmaster suggested. She still wasn’t sure she understood the point.

“So what did you hear, Snips?” Anakin asked as he piloted their speeder back towards the Temple.

“I heard a lot of politicians talking in circles,” The Padawan answered.

“Think more deeply about the words you heard,” Obi-Wan encouraged.

“I think I heard some trade deals being negotiated? Or started anyway. And there was definitely one conversation about relief supplies for some of the Outer Rim worlds, but that one didn’t seem to be going well,” The young Togruta said several moments later.

“Good job, Snips! Exactly. Things like this are events were Senators do some of their more discreet work. It’s less conspicuous to mingle with a fellow Senator at an event than to be seen repeatedly at their office. Paying attention at events like this help us keep aware of goings on in the Senate while also keeping up the Order’s appearance with Senators,” Anakin explained.

“Really?” Ahsoka asked, surprised.

“The Republic is a complicated thing, Ahsoka. There are things that keep it moving that occur outside the Senate chambers. It is why we must be paying attention, so we are aware of the state of things beyond our own doors,” Obi-Wan explained.

“I guess I never thought of it that way,” The young Togruta admitted.

“Nothing wrong with that. You’re young. You haven’t really had a need to think about it until now,” Her master assured her.

“Anakin is correct. Learning is part of growing, young one,” Her grandmaster added.

Ahsoka smiled. She knew she had much still to learn, but she had some great teachers.


	4. The Force

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cody asks a question that Ghost Company has wanted an answer to for some time. Obi-Wan does his best to answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunday, June 14th: The Force
> 
> I haven't read the Guardian of the Whills book, but I have seen referenced in multiple places that many of the Guardians were not actually Force sensitive. So I used that here.

CWCWCWCW

Ghost Company had gotten comfortable enough with their General that they were willing to ask him questions.

Obi-Wan was very pleased about that fact. Even when the question they asked was difficult to answer.

Ghost was sitting around a fire in the middle of their camp on yet another Outer Rim world. Fortunately, the battle had been won but there was too much cleanup to do for them to return to the _Negotiator_ yet.

Obi-Wan sat with his men, at their insistent request.

That was how they had all relaxed enough that Cody had asked the question.

“General, what, exactly, is the Force?”

His Commander couldn’t ask something easy, could he?

Obi-Wan thought for a moment. How to best explain?

“If you will give me a moment to collect my thoughts, Cody, I will answer as best as I can. Keep in mind, there are aspects of the Force that are difficult to explain to those who cannot feel it. But I will do my best.”

“It’s fine, General. We understand. We’re all just curious and anything you can tell us is appreciated,” Cody assured.

“The Force is an energy field. It is created by, connects to and surrounds all living things, whether or not one is Force sensitive. It binds the galaxy together. It gives all Force sensitives their powers. We can use it to fight yes, but also to jump, to push, to pull, to heal if one is trained for it. It gives us more strength in many ways. But it also has its costs. We can feel many things that those without it cannot. With it we can feel echoes of strong emotions left in a place- joy, grief, pain. It is, in many ways, an extra sense. But it is also more. Each being has a different feel and look in the Force. With my eyes closed and all of you silent, I could tell who is with me by how you appear in the Force,” Obi-Wan explained.

The troopers were staring at him with wide eyes.

“That’s amazing. Sir,” Waxer said softly.

The Jedi General smiled.

“The Force is wonderful and terrible. It can be wielded for good, as the Jedi strive for. Or it can be wielded for evil, as we see with the Sith and their dark apprentices. It provides power, but brings responsibility. It brings strength, but also danger.”

“Danger, sir?” Cody asked.

“Power corrupts, Cody. There is always the danger of a Force sensitive misusing or abusing their gifts for their own gain. Or of those, like the Sith, who use their powers to hurt others for their own gain. If one touches too much of the dark side of the Force, one can lose the very essence of themselves to the darkness. The dark is powerful and seductive; it is less restrictive than the light. But it can consume you if you let it. Jedi must constantly guard themselves from such things. It is the reason for the Code. It is the reason for some of our stricter rules. The Force gives us great abilities. We must be diligent in our discipline so that we never use those abilities to cause harm to innocents,” Obi-Wan explained.

The troopers had seen Ventress. They knew all about Dooku. But they hadn’t really understood what was meant by them being user of the “dark side of the Force.” They felt they had a bit better understanding now. It also left them even more in awe of the Jedi, and in particular their own General.

“The Guardians of the Whills, who guard the Temple of the Kyber on Jedha, have the mantra _I am one with the Force and the Force is with me_. It is a simple but elegant phrase that demonstrates how we are all connected to the Force. Many of the Guardians are not Force sensitive, but they understand it well all the same. Jedi often say ‘May the Force be with you’ as a farewell, but the reality is that it is with us at all times. Whether we wish it or not,” Obi-Wan finished.

The members of Ghost company looked around at each other. There was a lot process in what their Jedi had just told them. They would discuss it amongst themselves later.

“Thank you, General, for being willing to tell us this,” Cody said, voice filled with gratitude.

“I know what some say of all of you, Cody. But I see you all, I feel you all in the Force. You are unique and beautiful lights and you deserve all the respect given to any other sentient beings. You should never be treated as anything less. I don’t ever want any of you to hesitate to ask me about things you want to know. If I don’t have an answer, I will find one. Or I will direct you to someone who does know,” Obi-Wan said gently.

He could feel the gratitude radiating from all the troopers around him. He could feel their quiet happiness caused by his words and this relaxed evening.

Yes, the Force really was a wonderful gift sometimes.


	5. Discipline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discipline isn't always about the physical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saturday, June 20th: Restraint/Discipline
> 
> I wanted to do something not quite as obvious as discipline for saber work or for emotional control.  
> Not sure I'm totally happy with this, but here we are all the same.

SWSWSWSWSWSW

“Discipline comes in many forms, Anakin,” Obi-Wan explained.

He was trying to be patient, but it felt as if they had had this conversation a hundred times. Anakin was old enough to understand it by now.

“Well, this _particular_ form isn’t working for me,” Fifteen-year-old Anakin complained.

“Could you have learned your saber forms without discipline?” The Knight asked.

The Padawan frowned. The answer to that was obvious.

“Of course not.”

Obi-Wan smiled softly.

“What about piloting?”

Anakin’s frown deepened. He knew where this was headed. Why could his Master never just get right to the point?

“To be as good as I am at it required practice, so I suppose you could call that discipline.”

“Then why should this be any different? There are many skills required to be a Jedi. While they all aren’t as physically taxing as wielding a saber, there are no less important. And they require no less devotion and discipline to master,” the Knight lectured gently.

The Padawan sighed.

“Master, please explain how knowing how to use 16 different pieces of cutlery is important for being a Jedi.”

Obi-Wan sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Anakin. Diplomacy is an important part of being a Jedi. Diplomacy isn’t just about sitting around a table negotiating. There are state dinners. There are formal balls. There are many, many things beyond sitting at that table and talking. During a formal event on Alderaan, using a wrong utensil won’t cause much trouble for they are strong allies of the Jedi Order and would know it was not meant as an insult. During tense negotiations between distrusting parties? All it may take is a social faux pas at a meal to derail peace talks.”

“It’s ridiculous,” Anakin cried.

“I don’t disagree that multiple pieces of cutlery for each course is excessive. But it is a fact of formal occasions and if you are to continue accompanying me on diplomatic missions you need to learn these things. You are old enough now that your actions will be judged more critically. Discipline isn’t always about the body. It is also frequently about the mind. That is what you need here,” Obi-Wan told him. “You need the focus to look only at what is in front of you and the discipline to master it even though it does not interest you.”

It was going to be a long afternoon.


	6. Mindfulness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan corrects a misconception his men seem to have about Jedi & emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunday, June 21st: Meditation/Mindfulness

CWCWCWCWCWCWCW

“General,” One of the troopers started before cutting himself off and hesitating.

“What is it, Lieutenant?” Obi-Wan asked, looking up from his datapad.

He realized the trooper seemed hesitant about something.

“Is everything all right?”

“Yes, sir! I just…well…I have a question. But it might be, well, rude?” The Lieutenant said nervously.

Obi-Wan smiled gently at the clone. He had told his men repeatedly not to hesitate to ask him things. He would just have to keep encouraging them on it.

“Please, Waxer, go ahead.”

“Just something we’ve overheard about Jedi. Is it true that, well…is it true that you don’t feel emotions?” The trooper finally forced out.

The Jedi just stared for a moment before sighing. He supposed he should have expected that question sooner or later.

“That is most certainly not true. It is, however, a very common misconception,” Obi-Wan said. He frowned, then looked around. Everyone on the bridge within earshot was trying very hard to make it look like they weren’t listening. “Waxer, have Cody gather whoever is off duty in the main training room. It sounds like this is something I need to address with as many of you as possible at the same time.”

Waxer saluted and hurried to do as ordered.

Obi-Wan wondered how to best approach this. After over a decade as a Jedi, Anakin still struggled with this concept. How was he to explain this to the troopers who had no Jedi training or Force sensitivity?

CWCWCWCWCW

“I’d like to correct a quite common misconception about Jedi. We do, in fact, feel emotions. The difference is that we must always be _mindful_ of our feelings. Having feelings is natural and normal. We must be constantly aware of our feelings, more so than others. What a Jedi _cannot do_ is be ruled by their emotions. We feel them; we are aware of them. But we must be their master, rather than allow them to be ours. A Jedi who allows their emotions to control their actions is capable of great, but terrible acts. There have been cases throughout the history of the Order where a Jedi lost control of their emotions, especially their darker ones, and leveled buildings with their anger or grief,” The Jedi Master explained.

“Jedi can do that?” Cody asked, surprise coloring his tone.

Given some of what he had seen the Jedi Generals do, this probably shouldn’t surprise him. But it does anyway.

“Oh yes, Cody. With some ease if the situation is right. Part of why children are brought to the Temple so young is that young children struggle with their emotions and can unintentionally lash out with the Force. Many who are brought to us as toddlers come to us because they hurt a sibling or parent or broke furniture with the Force during a temper tantrum, and the family realized they could not properly take care of the child. Adult, trained Jedi are capable of far greater destruction if they are not mindful of their thoughts and feelings. If a Jedi loses control of their emotions, what is meant to be a simple push back can become a throw across a room. A move to hold someone in place could crush bones. It is hard to be so disciplined, but when we know the risks if we are not…it would be selfish to do anything less,” Obi-Wan said.

“Why do so many people think the Jedi just don’t feel, then, General?” Wooley asked in confusion.

“I don’t honestly know, Wooley. But if I had to make a guess, it is because we learn to control our reactions to our emotions far more than most beings ever do. If we control them too well, it can be misconstrued as not having them at all,” The Jedi replied.

“Makes sense,” Boil said quietly.

There were soft murmurs around the room as the men processed what they their General had told them.

“Is that a difficult topic to discuss, General?” Cody asked quietly from his spot next to Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan gave his Commander a small smile.

“Not difficult, though it can be a frustrating one when dealing with those who won’t let go of their preconceived notions of the Jedi. That is one of the many truly wonderful things about all of you. You ask a question and you genuinely want the answer. And you are receptive to whatever it is.”

“We were made for the Jedi, but there was so much they didn’t tell us on Kamino. You don’t know how much it means that you are willing to be so open with us,” Cody told him softly.

“I hope I always have the answers you want,” the Jedi replied.

Cody simply pressed their shoulders together in a show of support. Obi-Wan pressed back.

Well, with this many of the men all together…

“While we are all here, do you have any other questions? I’d be happy to answer them if I can,” Obi-Wan said.

The troopers looked at each other, then several hands went up.

Obi-Wan smiled. He was glad his men felt comfortable enough to do this.

“Yes, Longshot? What is your question?”

CWCWCWCWCW

Later that evening, Obi-Wan prepared to meditate. His men had asked a number of thoughtful questions about the Jedi, their teachings and the abilities that afternoon. The Jedi Master was glad he had taken the time to let them. He regretted not actively creating the situation sooner. He would do better in the future.

These men were such bright lights in the force. It hurt each time one of them went out during a battle. Obi-Wan tried his best to bring as many of them through each time as he could. He remembered all the men he couldn’t. He didn’t intrude on the men’s remembrances, but he quietly kept his own. The men who gave their lives for the Republic deserved that much. The more the war went on, the harder it was to release his grief to the Force as he had been taught. He could not afford to allow himself to be caught up in it, but he felt their loses acutely all the same.

He shook off the melancholy thoughts and reached out to the Force. He allowed himself to sink in to it, to allow it to wash over him.

Yes, he needed a good meditation session to calm and center himself.


	7. Symbiosis/Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padawan Anakin asks a question. Years later, Ghost Company asks their General the same question. Obi-Wan does his best to answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saturday, June 27th: Symbiosis/Connection
> 
> I need more Obi-Wan bonding with his men. That's my excuse. And I figure, on Kamino, they probably didn't bother really teaching the clones too much about the Jedi. So naturally our boys have questions.

SWSWSWSWSW

“The Force flows through all living things. It connects us in the most fundamental of ways. We are all part of it, and it is part of us,” Obi-Wan explained.

“Everyone?” Nine-year-old Anakin asked, awed by the concept.

“Yes, Padawan. Everyone,” The young Knight explained.

“Well…then why can’t everyone feel it?” The Padawan inquired, now looking confused.

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but smile softly at that.

“That is a very good question, young one.”

CWCWCWCWCWCW

The now Master remembered that conversation fondly when he found himself facing that question again years later, though in a much different setting.

Cody had convinced Obi-Wan to join the men for latemeal in the mess hall. Conversation during the meal had been light and pleasant. But it seemed that now that they were finished eating, there were more serious things to be discussed.

Boil asked the question this time.

“General, the other night you said that the Force…binds the galaxy together. That everything is connected to it. Well…why can only some people feel it if everyone is connected to it?”

Obi-Wan smiled.

“I’m glad you asked, Boil. Yes, as I said, the Force is an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. Why can only some people feel it? The answer are midi-chlorians. Midi-chlorians live within the cells of living organisms. It is a symbiotic relationship but one that most beings are completely unaware of. With a high enough concentration of midi-chlorians, one becomes Force sensitive,” The Jedi Master explained.

“Midi-chlorians? That was never mentioned in anything we were told about the Jedi,” Cody said.  
Obi-Wan sighed as he watched the troopers exchange confused looks.

“It’s something that is known outside the Order, but it really isn’t particularly well known because many people don’t consider it relevant. Many people simply see it as a case of being Force sensitive or not. They don’t care for the why.”

“Is being able to feel the Force how people know, sir?” Waxer asked.

“It is one way, yes, but it is not the only way. There is a blood test done on children born in the Republic that shows midi-chlorian counts. That is one way we know how many Force sensitive children are out there,” The Jedi explained.

“You mean being Force sensitive doesn’t automatically mean one becomes a Jedi?” Longshot asked.

“No, not at all. Parents are not made or coerced into giving up their children. If a child’s parents don’t want to give them to the Order, that is fine. The only time the situation is forced is if the child is being abused or neglected because of their Force sensitivity. Some worlds see it as a curse rather than a gift,” Obi-Wan explained. “Children are not left in those situations. But if they have loving parents, we don’t forcibly take the children away. Even being accepted in to the creche doesn’t guarantee one becomes a Jedi. There are many trials and tests along the way and an Initiate must be chosen by a Master in order to become a Padawan.”

Obi-Wan paused for a moment unsure if he should continue or not. He gave the men a moment to digest what he had said before he continued.

“Even once in training, a Jedi is always free to leave if they wish. It isn’t done lightly and anyone considering it is always counseled to think about _why_ it is they wish to leave. If they are simply unhappy or feel unsuited to the life, they are free to leave and pursue whatever they wish. If they found themselves desiring to leave because of some sort of problem that could be resolved, they are encouraged to do so and then re-evaluate. Being a Jedi is difficult and it must be a path consciously chosen by the individual.”

“People other than Dooku have left the Order?” Cody asked.

“Oh, yes, of course. It is rarer with Masters, only 20 in the Order’s history. But it happens more with Knights and even more frequently with Padawans and Initiates. Most simply go on to live their lives elsewhere in the galaxy. Some, unfortunately, choose dark paths. My own Master’s previous Padawan chose a dark path after he left the Order after failing to complete his Knight Trials. He unfortunately lured an age-mate of mine on to that dark path with him. It claimed both of their lives,” Obi-Wan said quietly. 

Murmurs rippled through the troopers in the room as he finished his statement.

The men were clearly unsettled by the answer.

Obi-Wan didn’t want to leave his men feeling unsettled. He considered another topic to bring up.

Wooley piped up before the Jedi could decide.

“What as that quote, sir? From the Guardians on Jedha?”

The Jedi Master smiled.

“Ah, the Guardians of the Whills! They say _I am one with the Force and the Force is with me._ It is a quote that is wonderful in its simplicity and accuracy. The Force connects us all and it is always with us.”

More murmurs went through the men, though they seemed more at ease than a few moments ago.

“I think that’s enough questions for tonight,” Cody said, voice firm.

Disgruntled noises issued from a few areas.

“I’m sure the General will be willing to answer more questions another time,” The Commander said, unmoved.

“Of course! Please don’t hesitate to ask,” Obi-Wan agreed easily.

The men began to leave the mess hall as they headed for the rec room, the gym or their bunks.

“I thought about the Jedi often, growing up on Kamino. They made sure we knew who we were made for. But it seems like we are always finding out how little we really know about you,” Cody said quietly when only he and Obi-Wan were left. “There is so much we don’t understand. We know the Jedi use the Force but I don’t think we ever asked _how_ that happened or why.”

“To be fair, Cody, few non-Force sensitive beings ever bother asking that question,” The Jedi assured.

“Knowing your connection to the force is a result of something in the very cells of your body and that all beings have those same things…it’s almost surreal, sir. And yet also almost mundane. If that makes any sense,” The Commander said.

“It makes perfect sense, Cody. Perfect sense,” Obi-Wan assured.


	8. Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are many ways in which one must let go. None of them are easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunday, June 28th: Letting Go
> 
> Final part of Jedi June! Thanks for joining me on this one.

SWSWSWSWSW

A Master was supposed to look forward to the day their Padawan was Knighted. 

Obi-Wan had been. Truly he had.

He just wasn’t _ready_ for that day to be so soon.

He was so proud of the man, the Jedi, Anakin was _becoming_. The boy still had plenty to learn, but a Jedi learned things all their life. 

But. 

Obi-Wan knew, for all of Anakin’s skills, he wasn’t emotionally mature enough. Anakin’s strength in the Force could make him arrogant. The boy could be brash and reckless. 

Yet, Anakin had a large heart and a desire to help everyone in the galaxy. Obi-Wan wished it truly were in the younger man’s power to do so. He didn’t look forward to the sad day when Anakin finally realized he couldn’t. It was going to hurt him so much. Obi-Wan could only hope to be there for him when it happened.

The fact remained that they were at war now. The Jedi needed all the Knights they could muster to meet the challenge that had been forced on them. 

So, Obi-Wan had to set aside his fears and concerns. He had to let Anakin go. He had to let his beloved Padawan become a Knight and face whatever this war was going to throw at him. Obi-Wan had to trust in the Force, to trust that it would look after it’s Chosen One.

He agreed to Anakin’s Knighting.

He could only hope he didn’t have to let go of him more than that. He still struggled with truly letting Qui-Gon go. He certainly wasn’t ready to have to let go of his Padawan in such a way.

He knew he had attachment issues. He could only hope he didn’t have to face them any time soon.

Jedi had to be willing to let go of those they cared for, but that did not mean it was easy. 


End file.
